Working out

Eventually the inevitable happened, I decided to add him on Facebook. I really just wanted to stalk the shit out of his profile. He added me and followed up with a message. We talked about how nice it was seeing each other. I gave him a hard time about the fact that he never talks. And finally I said what we both were thinking. “We should probably bang sometime.” He didn’t take long to come back with a “Oh really?”

And so it began. Throughout the next several days we talking about the how, when and where this rendezvous would take place. His parents had just rented a building with the intent of opening a gym. Every Friday I had to be to work at 5 am to put stock out. Somewhere between my early morning and a yet-to-be-opened business; we had the ball rolling.

Thursday night we went back and forth online, making sure that each of us was ready for what was about to transpire. We agreed, let’s meet at the gym by 4:15.

Have you ever had sex on a weight bench? Unless you’re super in shape and really fucking flexible…I don’t recommend it. Real life is never like a porno, it was the most awkward experience I’ve ever been a part of.

We were both nervous, neither of us were virgins by any means but you probably wouldn’t have known that. After trying 52 different positions and spraining 6 muscles we decided to call it a day. For someone who spends so much time working out, I would have thought he would have mastered the best equipment in a gym to have sex on.

I got to work late. My hair was a mess and I was beyond sweaty. When his mom asked why the hell I was late getting to work I told her I got pulled over. She laughed. I laughed. I immediately started texting Dan to see if we could have a do over.


Grabbing a beer

After several more trips into my work to see his mother he mentioned taking me out for that beer, he was sure to point out that it didn’t actually have to be a beer. I finally took him up on his offer.

We went to this shit hole bar, the kind of place you should really only go to when you’re completely hammered and you’ve been kicked out of every other bar in the area. Seeing it in broad daylight really set the mood.

I was nervous. He was so damn hot. How can someone make jeans and a tshirt look so fucking good? It just didn’t seem fair. Me on the other hand, I was a mess. I didn’t spend nearly enough time in front of a mirror to even begin to keep up with something like that.

We talked for awhile. Mostly nonsense. I asked him about his girlfriend and his time in the army. He asked me about my boyfriend and if I liked working where I was. We talked about our families, I knew most of his from coming into the store.

After a few drinks we decided to call it a day. Before we got into our vehicles I sheepishly told him that we should do that again. He almost seemed surprised that I wanted to meet up with him again, but he agreed that we should.

We continued to meet at shit hole bars. Looking back, I think we met up at least once a week. I don’t really know how either of us got away with it. More than a few times Al would ask what took me so long to get home, and if I had been drinking. I lied, and I am sure he knew.

I looked forward to our outings. More than anything else.

Killing time

I met this guy. Al. A great guy. Almost the male version of me. He was hilarious, not bad looking by any means. We started dating.

It it wasn’t long before we moved in together. He made great money. I made ok money. Things were great. So naturally, I did what anyone in my position would do, I set out to fuck it up.

Shortly before I met Al I had been seeing a guy named Steve. I wasted a year falling in love with a complete piece of garbage. Have you watch Breaking Bad? Jesse Pinkman reminds me so much of Steve, extremely fucking sexy but a dumpster fire of a human being. I broke things off with Steve, he broke my fucking heart. I should have waited before jumping into a new relationship, I wasn’t over him. When heard that I was happy, he conveniently decided that now was the time to fall in love with me. I couldn’t stay away. And after a couple months my “perfect match” figured out what I was up to, it’s hard to secretly cheat on someone when the “other guy” lives just up the road. To save him heartache I moved back in with my parents while we figured out what to do next.

He forgave me, I guess I’m too awesome to just let go. Things were great again but you could tell he never quite trusted me. We were never going to get married, and that was ok. Because we had what I thought was the perfect life. A couple of years went by and then it happened.

That guy. Dan. The most perfect man I had ever laid eyes on began coming into the store. A lot. Occasionally I would get more than just the “hey how’s it goin?” And I lived for those times. And when he managed to drag is fucking girlfriend in the store I avoided them like the plague. I was in a relationship….but seeing them together made my skin crawl.

One summer day his mom walks up to me and says “Do you have any jumper cables? My son and husband need to go jump my daughter’s car.” I asked “What kind of guy doesn’t have jumper cables? I’ll go get them.”

He pulled up to my car, I handed them to him and he said “Thanks. I’ll buy you a beer sometime.” So naturally I responded with “I don’t drink beer…”  Just stupid.

The first time

The first time I seen him I knew I would love him.

He came into my work to see his mother. Army uniform. The closest to perfect that I’d ever seen.

He carried himself in such a way that you knew without a doubt that he wanted you to notice him. He had a kind of newly acquired arrogance. The kind that said “look at me now”. The kind that lead you to believe he spent his whole life going unnoticed and suddenly he was worth noticing…and I definitely noticed.

That dark hair, his rugged features. What I wouldn’t have done to just touch him, all over. Even if only for a moment.

He came in sporadically. Every time saying just enough to make my heart skip a beat. “Hey. How’s it goin?” “Is my mom in the back?” “I’m just living the dream.”

I recall at one point going out to a bar with a friend of mine, I guess I can’t really call him a friend – we worked together at my first job, he was always kind of a tool but he was attractive so I didn’t turn down the opportunity to catch up with him. When we got to the bar Dan was there, I was surprised that they knew each other and almost instantly felt like I was out with the wrong person. We didn’t stay for long.

Some time went by. It’s kind of a blur. Fast forward what I think is a couple of years. One day he comes in with a cast on. It seemed he had severely injured himself while on leave. Looked like the army would be retiring him early.

One day Dan came in with this girl. I was jealous. Like a school girl. I couldn’t even make eye contact with him. His mom said “This is my ‘daughter in law’ Megan. She’s pregnant!” I jokingly asked, “Was it planned? (Yeah) Well then congrats.” And that’s the last I heard of the pregnancy.