I met this guy. Al. A great guy. Almost the male version of me. He was hilarious, not bad looking by any means. We started dating.
It it wasn’t long before we moved in together. He made great money. I made ok money. Things were great. So naturally, I did what anyone in my position would do, I set out to fuck it up.
Shortly before I met Al I had been seeing a guy named Steve. I wasted a year falling in love with a complete piece of garbage. Have you watch Breaking Bad? Jesse Pinkman reminds me so much of Steve, extremely fucking sexy but a dumpster fire of a human being. I broke things off with Steve, he broke my fucking heart. I should have waited before jumping into a new relationship, I wasn’t over him. When heard that I was happy, he conveniently decided that now was the time to fall in love with me. I couldn’t stay away. And after a couple months my “perfect match” figured out what I was up to, it’s hard to secretly cheat on someone when the “other guy” lives just up the road. To save him heartache I moved back in with my parents while we figured out what to do next.
He forgave me, I guess I’m too awesome to just let go. Things were great again but you could tell he never quite trusted me. We were never going to get married, and that was ok. Because we had what I thought was the perfect life. A couple of years went by and then it happened.
That guy. Dan. The most perfect man I had ever laid eyes on began coming into the store. A lot. Occasionally I would get more than just the “hey how’s it goin?” And I lived for those times. And when he managed to drag is fucking girlfriend in the store I avoided them like the plague. I was in a relationship….but seeing them together made my skin crawl.
One summer day his mom walks up to me and says “Do you have any jumper cables? My son and husband need to go jump my daughter’s car.” I asked “What kind of guy doesn’t have jumper cables? I’ll go get them.”
He pulled up to my car, I handed them to him and he said “Thanks. I’ll buy you a beer sometime.” So naturally I responded with “I don’t drink beer…” Just stupid.