Eventually the inevitable happened, I decided to add him on Facebook. I really just wanted to stalk the shit out of his profile. He added me and followed up with a message. We talked about how nice it was seeing each other. I gave him a hard time about the fact that he never talks. And finally I said what we both were thinking. “We should probably bang sometime.” He didn’t take long to come back with a “Oh really?”
And so it began. Throughout the next several days we talking about the how, when and where this rendezvous would take place. His parents had just rented a building with the intent of opening a gym. Every Friday I had to be to work at 5 am to put stock out. Somewhere between my early morning and a yet-to-be-opened business; we had the ball rolling.
Thursday night we went back and forth online, making sure that each of us was ready for what was about to transpire. We agreed, let’s meet at the gym by 4:15.
Have you ever had sex on a weight bench? Unless you’re super in shape and really fucking flexible…I don’t recommend it. Real life is never like a porno, it was the most awkward experience I’ve ever been a part of.
We were both nervous, neither of us were virgins by any means but you probably wouldn’t have known that. After trying 52 different positions and spraining 6 muscles we decided to call it a day. For someone who spends so much time working out, I would have thought he would have mastered the best equipment in a gym to have sex on.
I got to work late. My hair was a mess and I was beyond sweaty. When his mom asked why the hell I was late getting to work I told her I got pulled over. She laughed. I laughed. I immediately started texting Dan to see if we could have a do over.