From the moment I woke up until I fell asleep I was on my phone, texting him non-stop. It was a struggle sometimes at work, I think I spent more time hiding down aisles than actually getting work done. How he kept getting away with it was beyond me.
He continued coming to visit. And when I went home he didn’t mind spending time with my friends. We would go to one of the bars that we used to frequent when we first started our adventure, sometimes my friends would join us. He even had lunch with my sister and I and went to my grandparents for our annual Mother’s Day dinner. It was crazy. I told him I wanted to marry him, have a kid with him.
He would call me every night on his ride home from work. One evening we talked for what seemed like forever. I was wondering what was taking him so long to get home, and there it was…a knock on the door. He drove all that way, to get to me after midnight. We spent hours fucking. And just when it felt like things couldn’t get any better, he let me fall asleep on his chest.
I had found ways to occupy myself while he was away. It wasn’t fair that he was able to go home to her and I had no one. I met a guy, Dave, great guy. We would spend our nights in the city getting drunk and laughing. He was always a gentleman, never made a move on me. A couple of months went by, seeing Dan from time to time for some amazing sex and casual conversation and seeing Dave when I could for some fun out on the town.
And then things changed.
It’s not that I gave Dan an ultimatum, I just wanted to know. Would he ever leave her? Would he ever want just me? They travelled to Maine for a wedding. Pictures were posted on Facebook, it tore me apart. I needed a distraction. Dave and I went downtown, I got too drunk to stand. Dan kept trying to text me, and I kept trying to hide it. I went home with Dave that night, and he was a complete gentleman as always. Dave told me the following morning that I drunkenly told him about Dan, it didn’t bother him since we weren’t being intimate. Hell, we weren’t a couple, we just spent time together.
When Dan came back from Maine something changed. He wasn’t the same. He was cold and withdrawn. It was obvious that this was the beginning of the end. Shortly after I made a trip home, I stopped by my old work and his mom told me that he had signed on a house with his girlfriend, confirming my belief that the choice wasn’t me. And I don’t think it was ever going to be me.
I took to Facebook. I blew it all wide open. Let the world know that I had been sleeping with Dan, for close to a year and a half at this point. I let everyone know that if they wanted his girlfriend’s contact info to send me a personal message. Upwards of 20 people messaged me, although I am not sure how many messaged her I do know that a few did. I also sent a message to her, detailing what had been happening. Needless to say, it didn’t phase her. Idiot.
I broke into a million pieces. I didn’t know what else to do. I jumped into a relationship with Dave. It only made sense. He was a great guy, the chemistry was there and we had a lot of fun together. I needed to find a way to get over Dan. Dave offered a distraction when we were together.