A fucking baby?

Once a month, maybe every other month, it seems that Dan gets this bug up his ass and wants to message me to hang out. For some reason I always respond to the messages. And sometimes I even entertain the idea of meeting up with him. Which is wrong, I know! But I honestly could never go through with it, even though it always sounded really, REALLY fun.

Last weekend was no different. I got the standard “Hows it goin” text. And that’s always the first text. Always missing the apostrophe between the “w” and the “s”. Never the letter “g” to finish off the word going. Never a question mark to end the sentence properly.

We talked back and forth. Actually, now that I think of it, we talked randomly throughout the month. He asked repeatedly when I would be coming back into town and I had no intentions of making any special trips. But it just so happened that I was coming into town to pick up a puppy for a friend of mine. I told him on Friday that I would be coming into town Sunday and he said that we should meet up, just name the place.

That’s where it got weird for me. Up until then every time he tried to schedule a hook up he asked me to come by his house. I don’t remember the address but I can say that it would be a convenient place to stop, I would be very close to it when I exited the free-way to go to my home town or enter the free-way to head back home. But this time was different.

He didn’t say to come over. He said he would meet me. So I knew that something was going on. I knew that circumstances had changed that would prevent me from going to the house he just bought. Part of me thought that he had taken his ex back. But then I remembered him saying that she had moved on and had a baby with someone else already. So what could it be…someone else?

Funny things happen when you log onto Facebook sometimes. For example, sometimes you log on to find a status update from Dan’s mother where she announces that Dan’s girlfriend is in the hospital having a FUCKING BABY.

Even up until 6 months ago I feel like this news may have devastated me. But yesterday it just made me laugh. And it made me so fucking thankful that I didn’t fall back into that toxic waste dump that would have been a relationship with him. I guess the only thing that bothers me is knowing that I was never good enough for him to want those same things with.

But then, maybe I was too good? Maybe I was too good for him.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s