“If I ever loved a woman, the more I loved her, the more I wanted to hurt her. Frida was only the most obvious victim of this disgusting trait.” ~ Diego Rivera
While I’m not planning to fall in love with a woman any time soon this quote seemed fitting. This person and I, we share the same trait.
I was talking to my sister about my dilemma – about the deal I’m making with the devil. I said to her, “I’m such a shitty person.” And she responded, “We all are.”
And it brought me a sense of comfort. Not unlike a warm blanket.
She then said to me, “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” To which I replied, “Bitch. I hurt every day.” And I do. I really, really do.
But today, I feel alive. I have an infectious smile. And although I know that it will fade fast, as a matter of fact I can feel it fading now, I need this. I need to feel…something. For far too long I have felt nothing. And there’s nothing worse than feeling nothing.